Nice place, lots of trees.

My mother always warned me about venturing out into the world…
“It’ll end in tears son, and don’t go messin’ around with them female girls…you’ll get potato rot!”

So we ventured out to some foreign climate (another county no less!) on Tuesday. We being myself, the old one (who seems to think I suffer from malicious ineptitude) and another “mate” (him what drives one of them horseless carriages).

What strange foreign land did we find ourselves in? Salcey Forest in that rather weird Northamptonshire, that’s where.
Nice place, lots of trees and other green stuff.

Although it did seem to take quite a long time to get there, mainly cos mate drove the wrong way and got us lost!

When we finally arrived, we stopped off in the little noshery, nice place…they’ve even got tables and chairs! just a shame the sarnies weren’t up to much…coffee was alright tho.

Pit-stop over, we head into the forest itself. Not sure who chose the path we took (not me, I don’t do decisions) but whoever it was, needs to be taken to the Woodhouse and given a good birchin’ cos it didn’t take long for us to end up lost…again!

The result of this was much bickerin’ and faffing over some sort of map that made no sense what so ever…plus it started to rain. Don’t much like the rain, cos it means I’m gonna get wet.

At some point we find ourselves on a road…arguing over which way to go, the old one and me agreeing(for once) that it was this way and him what drives, saying it was the other way. We’re stood there for what seemed liked days, when suddenly this woman appears and tells us the way back is that way, the very same way him what drives was barking on about…like his ego needs boosting anymore.

On the way back we passed a familiar path, it seems we’d gone round in a circle and would’ve been back at least 30 mins earlier. The thought of coffee drivin’ us on we eventually find our way back and upon enterin’ the noshery, the old one and me spot an ice cream cabinet.

While we’re rootin’ around in the cabinet, him what drives gets himself served and sits outside. Deciding that none of the ice creams (they were ice lollies mainly) were particularly invitin’ we go up to the counter to get our coffee.

I look down and see that they have apple pie and custard, knowin’ how much the old one likes that, I point it out to him…rather nice of me I thought.

Havin’ got our coffee and some food we go outside to join him what drives, he had moved tables due to the rain. While we’re sat there mumbling about the lack of decent ice cream, him what drives says.

“Y’know there’s an ice cream parlour over there.”

“eh, what? and you couldn’t have told us earlier!”

Of course it was too late, I was halfway through the rather large pasty I’d bought and the old one had nearly finished his apple pie, bloody mates eh…what’s the point of ’em?

Second pit-stop over we head back into the forest, none of us seem to be really up for it this time cos the rain was gettin’ heavier…none of us was sayin’ tho.

After about ten mins of wanderin’ and getting wetter, the old one says he has a plan…

“Why don’t we go back to town, head to the Bear and have a brew or two in the dry?”

We all agree that it was a good plan and so we leave Salcey and Northampton behind. This time him what drives doesn’t get lost and before you can rub two sticks together, we’re back in Bedford and the Bear.