I’ve been hankerin’ to revisit.

Got into town early this week, the plan bein’ meet up with the old one, we’ll get our usual nonsense out of the way (nosh and coffee) and head on up to a place called Cardington lock.

Now, I ain’t been up there for a while and I’ve been hankerin’ to revisit the place for quite some time. Rememberin’ how much fun we had last time, I was lookin’ forward to it and hopefully gettin’ some nice pics out of it.

The journey takes by the river…

…and through Priory country park, which just happen’s to have a rather nice lake.

Wanderin’ along, there was a faint rumblin’ noise and havin’ worked out it wasn’t the old one, it must have been thunder. I quite like thunder, not sure why it scares people it’s just a noise.

(the village elders say it’s a sign. Although they’re never overly forthcomin’ with what it actually signifies)

Imagine our disappointment when we arrived to find…a bench! and not a very interestin’ one either (well, it was just a bench…made of that new plastic stuff).

We do eventually spot some fairly interestin’ stuff, but not much. Although it was quite funny when the old one put his hand in some bird poo, me quickly leggin’ it ‘cos I just know where he would’ve wiped it!

We feel the rain startin’ to fall, so we hide under a bridge that so happens to be where we were (maybe that hex is wearin’ off, I must have got the ritual right this time. Does anybody’s eyes sting? no…just me then).

Movin’ on and back towards the lake, where that thing happens that only seems to affect blokes…

…water and pebbles…must resist. Oh bugger it, I can’t help meself. Have…to throw…pepples…into the water…aah much better!

What is it about water and pepples? Why can’t we resist throwin’ the pepples…dark magics?

Then the birds came and ruined it, gettin’ in the way and so we moved on and started the amble back into town.

Stoppin’ by our favourite baccy shop,( not sure why…all they do is abuse us. Must be somethin’ about us that brings it out in people, when I say us I mean him…the old one) somethin’ came over the old one… he suddenly became a little bit camp!

Onto the waterin’ hole for a quick pint before it was time for work.

Chocolate? erm, not really.

Another trip down memory lane on Saturday, when him what drives…erm, drove us to Hunstanton in Norfolk….pickin’ up two of my siblins’ on the way.

Spent many a summer there when I were jus’ a lad, but it’s been over 20 years since I were last there.

Startin’ out early (8am!), to make the most of the day, we sort of knew where we were goin’…sort of.
It’s not like we got lost, more like we took the scenic route…ahem.

After about 2 hours on the road, we arrive at the siblins’ home, quick stop for a brew (my first of the day!) and then head on to Hunstanton.

Last time I visited the family, the young’n got her grubby paws on my M.P.D. and seemed to get quite into it, methinks I may have created a monster there, so this time I brought along my little M.P.D. so she could use that instead of my main one…kept her happy it did.

The weather weren’t lookin’ too promisin’ all cloudy and moody, but ain’t gonna let a thin’ like weather stop us from goin’ to the beach! Still at least it were a warm day.

Upon arrival, the first stop was for coffee and then the search for chips. Don’ get me wrong, the chips in Bedford ain’t bad but they jus’ ain’t the same as the ones from the homestead…I’m pretty sure they still use Beef fat in Norfolk, umm yummy!

While eatin’ the chips, the rain starts to fall…don’ know what it is ’bout eatin’ chips in the rain, but it makes me all nostalgic. Besides it weren’t too bad and it didn’t last long.

Wandrin’ around, stoppin’ here and there to get some pics with the M.P.D’s, and spendin’ some time in the arcades…they’ve got these wonderful mini bowling alleys, boy was that fun!

Weren’t too long before the inevitable cravin’ for ice cream, bein’ at the beach there were certainly no shortage of choice!

At some point, we start to get thirsty, so we buy something called Schmoo…chocolate thick shakes apparently, were certainly thick but chocolate? erm, not really and they darn well kept repeatin’ on us, won’t be havin’ them again!

Time to be headin’ back, and so we drop off the two siblins’ and head on back to Bedford.

Was a good day, always enjoy spendin’ time with the siblins’ and lookin’ forward to seein’ them again soon…in fact my Brother is payin’ a visit to Bedford next week (hope he don’t catch potato rot tho).

So what’s happenin’ then?

So what’s happenin’ then? Thinks I as I’m waitin’ for the old one to send me one of them electrickery mail thingy’s or call me on the portable speakin’ telegraph.

It’s gettin’ closer to the time I would normally be headin’ out and I’ve heard nothin’…best go put the kettle on then, it’s not likely to happen’ now…is it?

Oh bugger, what’s that? the damn portable speakin’ telegraph is makin’ a noise, best put me coffee down and answer it…of course it’s him ain’t it, and of course we are meetin’ at the usual time. I just made a coffee too…darn it.

Coffee finished in record time me dressed and ready to go, I head out and it’s darn well rainin’ so I decide to get into town usin’ one them giant horseless carriages what carry’s lots of people. Wish I hadn’t…there’s always weirdos on them (they’ll give you potato rot if you ain’t careful).

Meet up with the old one and then the usual routine…go to noshery, drink coffee and then, erm…yeah the thing is y’see we didn’t have a plan, the old one says he’s retirin’ from the bein’ our official planner.

That’s no good, how am I suppose to know what to do? I’m no good at that sort of thing, it means maikn’ decisions.

So we wander, no particular place in mind but strangely we seem to be headin’ towards the river. I wonder if there’s some dark magics involved…a hex maybe? Darn hexes are so tricky to get rid of…there’s a weird ritual involving dancing backwards while throwin’ salt in your eye…or someone elses eye, I can never remember.

Wandrin’ along headin’ towards a bridge that seems like it might be intrestin, there happens to be three fellas fishing, well they had fishin’ poles but seemed to be more intrested in the beer they had. We jus’ ignore them and carry on.

Spent a bit of time on the bridge, and when the rain started again under it as well.

Feelin’ the urge for coffee, we head back into town. On the way there we get accosted by some strange fella askin’ us about the M.P.D’s we’re carryin’ ( I thought he was drunk, but the old one weren’t sure). That strange conversation over the fella wanders off…probably already forgettin’ what was said.

On the way back into town we spot one of them horseless carriages what sells ice cream, only this week neither of us wants one (definitely a hex).

We stop off at a different noshery for a coffee before headin’ onto the waterin’ hole, where this week they hadn’t run out of beer!

So we finish the day sittin’ in the yard of the waterin’ hole enjoyin’ a nice cool pint of shandy each…bootiful.

Nice place, lots of trees.

My mother always warned me about venturing out into the world…
“It’ll end in tears son, and don’t go messin’ around with them female girls…you’ll get potato rot!”

So we ventured out to some foreign climate (another county no less!) on Tuesday. We being myself, the old one (who seems to think I suffer from malicious ineptitude) and another “mate” (him what drives one of them horseless carriages).

What strange foreign land did we find ourselves in? Salcey Forest in that rather weird Northamptonshire, that’s where.
Nice place, lots of trees and other green stuff.

Although it did seem to take quite a long time to get there, mainly cos mate drove the wrong way and got us lost!

When we finally arrived, we stopped off in the little noshery, nice place…they’ve even got tables and chairs! just a shame the sarnies weren’t up to much…coffee was alright tho.

Pit-stop over, we head into the forest itself. Not sure who chose the path we took (not me, I don’t do decisions) but whoever it was, needs to be taken to the Woodhouse and given a good birchin’ cos it didn’t take long for us to end up lost…again!

The result of this was much bickerin’ and faffing over some sort of map that made no sense what so ever…plus it started to rain. Don’t much like the rain, cos it means I’m gonna get wet.

At some point we find ourselves on a road…arguing over which way to go, the old one and me agreeing(for once) that it was this way and him what drives, saying it was the other way. We’re stood there for what seemed liked days, when suddenly this woman appears and tells us the way back is that way, the very same way him what drives was barking on about…like his ego needs boosting anymore.

On the way back we passed a familiar path, it seems we’d gone round in a circle and would’ve been back at least 30 mins earlier. The thought of coffee drivin’ us on we eventually find our way back and upon enterin’ the noshery, the old one and me spot an ice cream cabinet.

While we’re rootin’ around in the cabinet, him what drives gets himself served and sits outside. Deciding that none of the ice creams (they were ice lollies mainly) were particularly invitin’ we go up to the counter to get our coffee.

I look down and see that they have apple pie and custard, knowin’ how much the old one likes that, I point it out to him…rather nice of me I thought.

Havin’ got our coffee and some food we go outside to join him what drives, he had moved tables due to the rain. While we’re sat there mumbling about the lack of decent ice cream, him what drives says.

“Y’know there’s an ice cream parlour over there.”

“eh, what? and you couldn’t have told us earlier!”

Of course it was too late, I was halfway through the rather large pasty I’d bought and the old one had nearly finished his apple pie, bloody mates eh…what’s the point of ‘em?

Second pit-stop over we head back into the forest, none of us seem to be really up for it this time cos the rain was gettin’ heavier…none of us was sayin’ tho.

After about ten mins of wanderin’ and getting wetter, the old one says he has a plan…

“Why don’t we go back to town, head to the Bear and have a brew or two in the dry?”

We all agree that it was a good plan and so we leave Salcey and Northampton behind. This time him what drives doesn’t get lost and before you can rub two sticks together, we’re back in Bedford and the Bear.

So far this day isn’t going so well

This post became so long, I’ve had to split into two…

here’s part one…

Is it morning already? Can’t be, I haven’t slept yet… have I?
If it isn’t, then what’s that beeping noise? Maybe it’s a dream, close your eye’s and it’ll go away…

except…it’s still there, beeping away. It’s not gonna stop unless you get up and turn it off.

See…isn’t that better. All quiet now.

Put the kettle on, and isn’t there something else you were supposed to be doing? Oh yeah, didn’t you agree to be online at about eightish, so you and matey can sort out what the plan for the day is?

Best go do that, once the coffee’s ready of course.

That’s it sit there, turn on the ‘puter, roll a fag and wait for everything to load up…Why’s everything so blurry? Perhaps if you actually open your eyes it might help.

Check your emails, he’s probably been up for hours and has sent thousands of them, asking you why you aren’t up yet…No, only one, must be having an off day…good, that’s the way it should be.

Everything’s still blurry, only out of one eye, I don’t like morning’s…gotta wake up.

Now, just reply and he’ll get back to you, twiddle the thumbs, waiting…what’s this, switching to chat mode?

How do I do that then?

Oh yeah there it is…umm this looks suspiciously like an instant messenger thingy, didn’t think he did those. Oh well just go with it, I’m sure it’ll be alright.

I think the blurriness has gon…no, there it is, really must wake up. Have some coffee, it’ll make everything better, I promise.

Why’s he asking me what the plan is? It’s like he doesn’t know me. He really should know better than to ask me to make a decision, especially as I’ve only had half a mug of coffee and one smoke! Mind you, he doesn’t know that, he’s not here in the room with me. If he were, we wouldn’t need to use this instant messenger thingy.

Hang on, he’s got an idea…Ampthill Park eh? That sounds good to me, haven’t fully explored there…really wish everything wasn’t so blurry, gotta wake up.

Umm… coffee, is there anything finer?

So off I go to meet matey, only this time not at the usual place. Today we meet at, what is known locally as “pigeon square”. A public, erm… square, located just in front of the bus station. Why I hear you ask? well actually I don’t, that’s just the voices in my head…must take my medicine.

Last week, as we were wandering around Bedford town centre, it dawned on us that we were getting a bit bored with Bedford, and this week we could get on a bus and go elsewhere. So today, we were off to Ampthill, been there before but there’s still lots of potential, thing’s we haven’t seen or done.

As I wander though Pigeon Square, I spot him sitting outside one of the many cafe’s that are dotted in or around the bus station, why are there so many of them? for that matter why are there so many of them in Bedford itself? Can barely walk 10 feet without walking past a cafe or coffee shop in this town.

As I approach, he turns to me and says

“I would strongly suggest you get a coffee”.

“Why?”

“just trust me, get a coffee”

So I enter the coffee shop thinking “I wonder why he’s so adamant that I get a coffee, I’ve had the coffee here before, it’s alright but I…oh, hello…I see, that’s why. Oh and she’s Eastern European…damn, they’re everywhere”.

Not only do we share a weakness for ice cream, it seems we also share a weakness for ladies too, especially Eastern European ones. There’s something about them that makes us both go all funny in the knees and other parts of the body…ahem.

And Goths too, an Eastern European goth, now that would just finish me off…

Where was I? I seemed to have drifted off there…

Coffee finished we head off to complete a couple of tasks before we get the bus to Ampthill. I needed to get some sunglasses, lost the last pair I had. Dunno what it is with me and sunglasses, I just keep losing the darn things!

Gotta get some grub as well, so we decide that some sarnies would be good and the happen’s to be a fairly good baker just opposite the cafe. Plus, Superdrug is next door, where I can get some sunglasses.

As we’re walking towards them we have one of our usual conversations, an outsider might say we were bickering…

where to go first? Matey suggests the baker, I’m thinking superdrug…we’re standing at the crossroads so to speak, arguing discussing which one, round and round we go, why is it always like this? why can’t we just agree on something.

Finally, we decide to get my sunglasses first. We’re standing in Superdrug looking at the various types, Matey thinking he’s funny, pointing out all the girlie ones saying things like ” Oh, I think you should get those”. I settle on a pair which are quite nice and not too expensive and suddenly Matey picks up a pair too, the same pair, well not the exact same pair, but some identical to the ones I’ve chosen… he’s bloody well copying me again!

Why’s he buying some, he’s already got a pair, I know this cos he’s wearing them. He thinks he’s being funny again, properly amused with himself, I can see it on his face.

Glasses paid for, I’m just peeling the sticky labels off and walking out the door…except I don’t actually walk out the door, I walk straight into it! My own fault, shoulda been looking where I was going.

Embarrassment over, we head to the bus station, upon arrival I go and check to see what time our bus is…

Looking at the timetable I see there’s four journey’s in the morning up to 8:40 and then every 40 mins after that…so that’s 8:40 , 9:20, 10:00, 10:40…11:20. Yep 11:20 that’s the one, not too long to wait. There’s a double-decker just about to leave the stop, but we don’t pay too much attention…can’t be our bus, it’s too early. Besides it doesn’t say Ampthill on it, it’s going to Toddington…so it can’t possibly be our bus.

Time arrives, but the bus doesn’t, we’re stood there all confused, we can’t have missed it surely? maybe I got the time wrong, so I go back over to check the timetable…ah yes should always read the whole thing properly, what actually says is every 40 minutes past the hour! So that means we’ve got another 20 mins to wait…

And then in the grand tradition of us, Matey suddenly remembers that the Toddington bus goes through Ampthill, which meant of course that it was indeed our bus!

So far this day isn’t going so well, what with walking into doors and missing buses, shoulda just stayed in bed…it’s safe and warm, nothing bad can happen there. Although given the chance it would…ahem.

So we’ve now got another 20 minutes to wait, so we wander back to Pigeon Square, to have a sit down and tuck into the sarnies we bought earlier. We’re sat there happily eating, occasionally checking the time…don’t wanna miss another bus, enjoying the sunshine. Matey looks at his watch…bloody hell! it’s time to get the bus already. How did that happen? where did the time go?

We head towards the bus station, picking up the pace a bit, get to the stop where our bus should be waiting…

Except it isn’t, it’s empty…mild panic sets in, we’re thinking we’ve done it again. Then a bus pulls up, oh that’s alright then we haven’t missed…hang on that isn’t the bus to Ampthill, what’s going on?

Then we hear a voice saying the Ampthill bus is at this other stop. Why can’t the people running the bus service get their act together? Why can’t the bus you want to get be at the stop it’s supposed to be at?

We’re still not sure it’s the right bus, I think we’ve got a little paranoid by it all, so when we get on the bus, just had to make sure it was the correct one…thankfully it was.

And so after all this we finally get on our way to Ampthill…

To be continued….