That’ll teach him.

I’m walking to town, it’s a beautiful hot sunny day. Lots of lovely clouds in the sky…the white fluffy kind, not the ones that take up all the sky and have no definition…pointless trying to any photo’s of those.

I’ve got a little bit of time before I’m supposed to meet matey, so I’m ambling along enjoying the walk and taking photo’s as I go.

I realize that I’m starting to get too hot, so I stop to take off my jacket. Don’t know why I even put it on in the first place, It’s not like it hasn’t been hot for days…probably ‘cos I don’t trust the weather people, they never get it right do they?

Jacket off, I carry on ambling to town. As I get to the high street bridge, I point the camera towards it and, wait a minute…what the hell is he doing there!

Why is that I can’t take any photo’s without Matey getting in the way, even when he’s not supposed to be there?

He’s not supposed to be this side of town.

We’re not supposed to be meeting for about 30 mins.

So why is he here, ruining my shot…again!

Bastard! I’ll get him, just you wait and see…

I slowly walk behind, stalking him like a tiger stalks his prey. Gradually gaining ground, knowing he has no idea I’m right behind him.

The gap closes, I’m almost upon him now…I can hear him breathing. he stops, waiting to cross the road…this is it, this is the moment.

“Morning!”

“Aaargh, bloody hell!”

Got him, that’ll teach him to sneak into my shots! Shame he didn’t fall into traffic, but the mild heart attack will do…for now.

Having gone through our usual routine… smoke, eat, smoke some more, work out what exactly the plan for the day is, we end up where we always end up…the river!

Only this time, we had a plan worthy of the greatest strategist in the whole of human history…get ice cream, plonk ourselves down by the river and if something should just happen to be worthy of shooting, we’ll probably take some photo’s.

Brilliant in its simplicity, we can do that…afterall it involves very little effort, something we both excel at.

Except, this is us…

So we’re by the river, having bought a large ice cream each, we’ve found a suitable place in which to enjoy said ice creams. All is going well so far, even managed to get some photo’s…without to much effort.

But, something wasn’t quite right, our plan involved ice cream, a certain type of ice cream. The type that has a “chemically” aftertaste, the type which you know has all sorts of “unnatural” flavours and colouring…like all food had when I were a kid.

Having failed to acquire the right type, we settled for the soft, flake in the top sort,which is still very nice but far too natural tasting. We then decide, after much consideration mind, that we should track down the right one…both convinced that there was a vendor along the river somewhere which sells it.

Walking along the river, getting less and less certain that it was there, we spot another ice cream truck. Alas it was the same as the one’s we had just eaten.

Eventually tho we do track down the right one…after dragging our sorry carcases all the way to the lake at Priory Country Park!

So we buy another large ice cream and proceed to sit down and eat them.

Should’ve known better.

Should’ve realised my mistake.

There’s only one teeny tiny little problem with me eating so much ice cream…I just  happen to be Lactose intolerant!

Not that it stops me from eating dairy food, no not me…glutton for punishment me. I love dairy food, cheese, butter…ICE CREAM!

And did I regret eating so much? well, yes and no. Yes ‘cos of the suffering it brought. No ‘cos of the pleasure it brought.

I almost regret the suffering it inflicted on those around me…almost.